Thrilled to tears by my Mom’s outstanding welcome, she made the basement into an ashram. My Gurudeva’s beautiful images and books were everywhere. A perfect transitional set-up.

One evening, my Dad asked shyly if he’d correctly smelled cannabis wafting up from the basement. I laughed and said, “Of course not, you’re smelling incense from my puja (worship).” He seemed to accept that answer. It was logical, and it was true.  I went to bed not thinking about it. The next morning, while working in my make-shift office at the dining room table, my Mom raised the subject.

This time it got ugly. 

I call that period of my life ‘abundant survival’ because I was living radically accountable. The soul-scraping work of naming pain, clearing attachments, creating new habits, and celebrating incremental wins was dangerous and beautiful.

I had moved on and was thriving. Thus, at this moment with my Mother five years later, my raw desire to focus on my business seva.  I attempted to respectfully end the conversation rationally, but it only seemed to exacerbate her rage.

Mea Culpa. It was my responsibility. Here’s why.

I had an expectation for my Mom to meet me where I was, without meeting her where she was in her healing process.  She loved me so unconditionally my entire life that I didn’t pre-meditate boundaries.  She was processing witnessing me. Leaving my first career and dedicating my life to teaching had been the greatest pivot of my life.  My experience could be shared with her but never embodied. All she could do was support me, empathize or project with the tools she had. She was not culpable for my karmic blueprint but she was part of my cultural one. It had to play out, and there was no statute for that kind of healing. 

It changed me.

Boundaries are vital. It’s rare to be blessed with unconditional love, the way my Guru and parents offer me. Still, boundaries are my work to create the most favorable environment in which I can appreciate such rare gifts. All relationships need them. Particularly the intimate ones. And especially ones you don’t choose, from family to the post office crew.

Owning your spiritual practice includes boundary work.

My family has given me tremendous opportunity to create boundaries that don’t kill my spontaneous love for them. This is why Soul Mapping works so well. It’s a process of mastering boundaries while discovering your soul’s desire, under guidance, experience, healthy rules and generous love. It’s a system to pivot in moments of trigger so that you’re ready to experience real bliss when it shows up. 

On the other side of courage in any relationship is you transcending boundaries. Radical Honesty is part of healthy boundaries and spiritual love is the guiding star.

In Clarity, Flow, and Love,